“If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels but didn’t love others, I would be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gifts of prophecy and if I understood all God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.” 

1 Corinthians 13:1-3

I returned home to New Hampshire about 6 weeks ago! It has been an incredible blessing to simply be able to say "yes" to the people around me and learn to live life with my family again!

Still, in all honesty, I have been struggling to find my purpose here. Being in America seems like a necessary step onto the runway before I can fly away again. While I have found so much beauty and purpose while praying over strangers, creating relationships with my sweet neighbors, making little Gospel comments with people I meet and stepping into greater obedience to the Lord with my family, there is something bigger, something deeper that the very fiber of my being longs to do. I long to go.

The Lord has been walking me through the past 6 weeks at home, not because He is ignoring my desire to go but through His compassion to sharpen me anew in every season. Often, we think that the sharpening happens when life is thrown in your face or when trials pile as high as the heavens or when the labor of a day is seemingly too big to complete. While those things do indeed cause the Lord to sharpen us, the most difficult sharpening I have found is when life slows down and I must fight the inner battle of purpose.

Ultimately, will I try to muster up enough things to do to feel purposeful?

Or will I kneel down and say, "Lord, you are enough. I find purpose in you even when I feel purposeless. You are enough even when I don't feel like I am."?

It is through this act of continual surrender that He has reminded me that He is proud of me for finding worth, value and purpose only in Him. When I simply can't see myself as doing or being enough, all I can do is worship HIM because He is enough for me. And once my eyes are fully locked on Him; I cannot help but receive the purpose He has for me. My purpose has never been going out of country or loving the Lord enough anyways. My purpose was always to be loved by Him and to praise Him forever.

Will I go out of country again? Oh yes. The Lord has promised me it will be so. Soon. But He has called me to this season of life to increase my dependance on Him and to increase my love for others. Though I desire to speak other languages, I will speak my own for the sake of love. Though I desire to prophesy boldly over other people, I will use the quiet and tender words of prophesy (i.e. God's truth revealed to people to share with other people) the Lord has given me for the sake of love. Though I desire to move mountains with great faith, I will be humble and use the measure of faith the Lord has already given me for the sake of love. And though I heartily desire to give away everything I have, including my life, for Christ, I will humble myself to do the smallest or seemingly menial tasks for the sake of loving well to the greatest effect right now.

(My birthday banner from a friend's house! My birthday was on June 8th. I'm officially 19!)

(Me and my PCA school friends at my Auntie Beth's Breathe Life Benefit. We performed an acting/dancing number! It was beautiful to see the Gospel weaved through every portion of the show.)

(And don't you forget it!)

I want to thank you all for being my friends, my family, my support team and my church! Don't forget that Christ has called you worthy, no matter what life holds. Whether busy, slow, meaningful or less than, every moment belongs to the Lord and is being worked together for His glory and your good.

Would you pray for:

• The Lord to reveal Himself and His purpose in every season of my life, especially right now.

• To find where the Lord is specifically calling me to dedicate my time and energy right now.

And please praise Him that:

• He is enough.

• And that He keeps His promises! (Romans 4:20-25)

(I met up with Parker Beard a few weeks ago in New Hampshire! He and his brother came up for a week-ish, so I drove up to spend a few hours with him. He decided to take a picture of me in an attempt to give me some Bridger style clothes.)

Until next time,

Lia.