“See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children, and that is what we are!”
‭‭1 John‬ ‭3‬:‭1‬a NLT‬‬

My time so far in Malaysia can be described in one word: surrender. I have been learning that the Lord is so much more able to work through me and give me joy when I let Him take over! That sounds so obvious and it is- but, in action, this process of surrender is deeper and not as cliché as it may sound.

Learning to surrender what I have labeled as “mine” has been both a humbling and beautiful process. (I’m still working on it.)

The time I lay down for bed, the food I eat, how often I go to the store, when or if I get to be alone, what I wear and how much knowledge I receive about the schedule are not actually mine. Even the attitudes and preferences that were have had towards any of these things are not mine to cling to and control.

I have actually felt the most joy in ministry in Malaysia when I don’t even consider these facets of life as “mine” at all. I have to recognize that:

1. I don’t get to control these things
2. I don’t have to control these things

And subsequently, I get to simply be who God is calling me to be and do what He is telling me to do- despite personal preferences or desires! I don’t have to be the “Lia” I have always been.

A new revelation that I’ve had is that I don’t even have to be “Lia”.

What I mean is this: the attitudes, preferences, behaviors, traits and habits that have described who I am and that I have grown to cling to are not actually permanent and don’t have to describe who I am. In fact, all the things that have described who I am DO NOT describe who I am. I don’t have to be “Lia”, rather, I get to be who God tells me to be.

Jesus tells me I am His child (his daughter), his friend and his beloved. Because I know who I am, I also know my purpose and the things that I get to do.

As His child, get to obey Him. This means that when He tells me to walk up to the Muslim worker in the convenient store and ask her name, I do it. As His friend, I get to talk with Him all day and all night. That means that I get to be in conversation with Him as we drive to the Rohingyan school or the special needs bakery. As His beloved, I get to be embraced and given the best kind of love that is unconditional. That means that when I feel overwhelmed by the spiritual tension or don’t feel completely seen by others, I get to sit in the Lord’s presence and just receive his love.

Growing in the knowledge of who I am has taken away so much pressure and worry of somehow having to do or be enough to make a change in this culture.

The spiritual confusion is so evident here that my soul and heart often has felt heavy with the pressure to change everything, even the minds of the peoples around me. My heart asks questions like:

Why would they worship blind, mute and deaf idols?

Do they really think that doing good deeds and being a good enough person will reap eternal rewards?

Are they satisfied with the imprisoned life of mustering up strength to do enough good?

How do I let them know that there is a way to freedom without shutting them off?

(This is a Hindu temple in Sungai Petani where many Indian people pray and meditate, trusting in 33 different idols.)

Thinking on these questions, I began to imagine it was I who must change their views and it is I who must be good enough to represent Christ well enough.

But it is then that I become as stuck as any lost soul!

Only the Holy Spirit can affect hearts and change minds to bring the Muslims, Hindus and Buddhists into freedom! And only the Holy Spirit can free me from striving and help me to surrender all.
All I have to do is know who I am because I know who my Father is.

I have a couple of questions for you that relate to what the Lord is pointing out to me:

1. Do you know who you are and what that means for your day to day life?
2. Do you know just how beautiful surrender is?

I want to thank you all once again for faithfully reading up on my life overseas and my ministry  experiences and opportunities! I love you all and am learning again how to lift you all up steadily in prayer! (It’s funny how we have to relearn even the simplest things when life changes.)

Please thank the Lord for:

• Continuing to change me through experiences and conversations in Malaysia
• Reminding me who I really am with Him

And please petition that:

• My heart, mind, soul and body would be wholly invested and in love with our day to day ministry here in Malaysia! (I.e. Rohingyan refugee school teaching, special needs bakery helps, church service organizing and preaching and singing, house church visiting, sports ministry participating, Christmas caroling and of course evangelizing through it all!)

(P.S. Our final country changed due to host complications. We are not going to Nicaragua. We are going to Honduras! Please pray for this change and for our ministry there.)

A final thank you for being so patient with me as I relearn how to consistently communicate while I have the blessing of a SIM card!

Your friend, Lia.